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Thinking of my last post, where I typed up my thoughts of my job, my life, my future, etc., this new post is actually quite  apropos.  In case you haven’t heard about Susan Boyle, yet, now you will. Ms. Boyle is a 47-year-old woman from the UK. She said she’s never had a boyfriend and has never been kissed. And she is fulfilling  a promise to her departed mother to be a contestant on Britain’s Got Talent.

Her appearance is not typical of a singer of any type, and I, as the judges and audience did at first, judged her by her appearance before she opened her mouth. Shame on you, Breagha! She has a very good voice, and it blew us all away.

In this, her stage performance, she sings the song “I Dreamed a Dream” from Claude Michel Schoenberg and Alain Boublil’s hit West End and Tony-Award winning musical, Les Miserables. The character who sings the song, Fantine, is a young woman whose lover leaves her destitute and pregnant with her daughter, Cosette. In this song, Fantine laments her situation and reminisces about the dream she once had, and how it has been destroyed.

I congratulate Ms. Boyle on her performance and her courage to live her dream. Well done.

“I Dreamed a Dream,” as performed by Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent

We all have goals or dreams when we’re young. And part of growing up is the realizing of those dreams, or the rearranging of those dreams, or the realization that a dream just isn’t going to happen.

I’m sort of having another one of those moments now (well, for the past few days). I’ve got lots of (some say too much) schooling, and will be finishing my third graduate degree in a few months. I’m thrilled to add more letters (and skills) to my name, but after the third graduate degree, one really must begin to think: Why am I doing this? What are my goals? Are my choices in line with the goals that I’ve made or that I have? If so, how? If not, do I need to do more to become aligned to my goals, or do I need to overhaul my goals?

It’s difficult, heart-wrenching, even, to give up on something you’d been planning on for most, if not all, of your life. It’s not like it will be out of your life in every way shape or form, but it being the center of your life just may not happen. I used to think that “BOOM” the thunderbolt from heaven would strike me and I’d know just what I was meant for in this life. This job, this career, etc. But that hasn’t been the case. In my early twenties, I came to see that waiting for that BOOM meant that I was risking literally wasting part of my life. It may happen, but it may not. But my waiting for it or not waiting for it wouldn’t affect its happening or not. I got over the thunderbolt theory.

I went on with my life. Went to grad school. Dated. Lived, traveled, worked, and studied overseas. Studied my fourth and fifth languages. Had a relationship with someone from another country for more than four years. While I was no longer expecting the thunderbolt, I did expect that my life’s calling or my plan, etc., would become more obvious, little by little. I have sinced moved back home, taken a number of different jobs, ended the four-plus-year relationship, and started yet another degree (this time paid for by my employer… I’m not anxious to wrack up more student loan debt!). I enjoy my job and the people I work with, and love the area I live in. I’m close enough to my family that I can drive to see them in less than 3.5 hours, but far enough away to live “away” from family (if you know what I mean). But as current program will be ending soon, I have to really think, OK, what am I doing, is it in line with what I really want to do?

I don’t have any answers. I would like to get married; I would like a child (children?); but I also have lived alone enough to know that if I don’t have children, I am able to be happy. I guess it’s not a top priority of mine to “bag a man,” as it were. If it were, I’d be working on myself more, making myself more available, etc. But with a full-time job, being a full-time grad student, and other commitments I’ve made, I sometimes find that it’s all I can do to get up 30 minutes before leaving for work, grab some coffee, and make it to the office. To me, this is not life. I know that the most hectic part (grad school) will end soon enough. That’s how I know I will survive this. But after that, what? Does my life continue the way it is?

I have friends at work, and I will always have these friends. I’ve got a decent job that is probably one of the most steady in this economy (the #1 reason that I’m hesitating leaving it), but it’s also not a very healthy place. It’s a toxic environment.

So I’ve got some work to do in the upcoming months. After graduation, after I’ve taken a breather, after perhaps I’ve taken a trip this fall (haven’t traveled in almost 4 years, which KILLS me!!!), I will seriously begin searching for other positions.

And I’m still working on my true love, the goal I’ve had for as long as I can remember.  It’s a difficult topic at the moment, but as life goes on, and more precious time is gone, I realize more and more that I am the one who makes the decisions. To let life pass me by would be my death knell.

So if anyone is reading this, what have you done in your life? Have you had to make concessions with your dreams, your life experience, and change your goals?

I saw this at Fabulously Broke in the City’s blog and figured I’d give it a try, too

1. Started your own blog — After a few attempts, I’m trying to do better by posting a big more frequently in this one.

2. Slept under the stars – Yes, mostly camping  in the backyard when I was younger.

3. Played in a band — Yes — flute

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain — Yes (though it was no Everest, of course)

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo — Many.

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris — Yes

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning — not sure, but very possibly

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty — yes

18. Grown your own vegetables  — tried, not all came out

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France  — yes

20. Slept on an overnight train — VERY uncomfortable and surrounded by snorers since I was too poor/cheap to get a “cabin”

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill — Um… maybe

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping — Uhem. When I was a much younger and slightly thinner breagha

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors — Yes, Scotland, Ireland, working on going to England at some point…

35. Seen an Amish community — Well, not a community at large, but a family at work, yes.

36. Taught yourself a new language — with varying degrees of success

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David  — Stunning.

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance — Embarrassing. Broke a bone in my foot.

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.

77. Broken a bone — (See “ambulance” above.)

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life — I count my dear pets, since they were adopted from shelters.

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous  — a famous PhD in my field

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one — too many to list here… all loved and sorely missed

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person– This is random. I just HAPPENED to see it on a business trip a few years ago.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a lawsuit

98. Owned a cellphone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Read an entire book in one day

Wow! I made 48?? I think that’s the highest I’ve ever scored on ANY type of meme thing.

One of my goals for this new year is to take better care (and charge) of my finances. I have three things I’ve thought of so far that I think are a good start. Here they are in no particular order:

(1) Increase the monthly allotment into my checking account set aside for student loan automatic repayment.  After talking with friends about their new house purchase, I thought I’d apply their idea of paying their monthly mortgage PLUS 1/12. It’s a small amount in the short run, and something I’m able to afford at this time. So while I will effectively be saving for 13 annual payments instead of 12, because it’s automatically deducted from my checking account, I can’t automatically pay that 13th payment. Rather, I’ll either pay twice/year, or at the end of the year, or even quarterly, I’m not sure. But the intention is that by the end of the year, there will be enough money to pay a 13th month, thus reducing my loan-repayment-days by 1 year. Each year I do it theoretically takes away 1 year, so the longer I do this, the better. Oh– just had a thought. If I make the extra payment around Sept-early Nov., then it would definitely qualify for that tax year, and all interest paid on student loan debt is tax deductible, so that’s even better for my taxes. It’s a win-win

(2) Keep all receipts. Now, I don’t want to get paranoid about this, but I will do all within my power to keep all receipts for every purchase I make. Anything that is purchased with a debit or credit card (the latter being EXTREMELY rare), I have a paper record of it. I have a habit of being a bit like Will as he tells Ado Annie in the musical Oklahoma!:  “With me it’s all er nuthin’.” I get all gung ho and started on the right foot, but the second I forget or slip up, it’s a failure and there ye go. Might as well quit. That’s why I qualify this with my trying to be “reasonable.”

(3) Contribute what I can reasonably afford each month to my Roth IRA. Since I already save 5% of my income (with a 5% match from my employer), I do already save towards retirement. However, I also like the idea of me saving for me, in a place that is very easy to see. I have to log in to a number of websites w/ a few passwords to view my and my employer contributions. This Roth was just started literally a month or so ago, so other than the initial conversion from funds from a previous employer into a Traditional IRA, then the rollover to the Roth, I hadn’t made any additional contributions until today.

That’s it for now. If you have any additional ideas, please feel free to comment

Just a post to those who may be reading: I wish you all a happy new year.

I have a few personal resolutions for the new year, but as far as the blog goes, I will aim to post at least once a week. That may not seem like a lot to bloggers who have many posts each week, but for this still-novice blogger, it is a lot And I think it’s a good goal, and one hat is attainable.

Blog to you next year! ~ breagha

I know I am by no means the most regular poster/blogger. (That is one thing I’d like to improve in the new year.)

I do have something to post, though. Tonight, while on my way to church (a Christmas Eve service), I was stopped at a red light and rear ended.

Merry Christmas, breagha. Merry Christmas. What makes it better? The driver who did it took off after I pulled over so we could exchange information. <sigh> There goes another rate increase. (I had a tire blow out this summer.)

I am fine, the car is mostly fine (just some dents and holes/nicks in the rear bumper, though I did have to file a claim toinght because my neck hurt and I’ve been rear-ended before, so I know it can take up to or more than 24 hours for whiplash symptoms [and others] to appear). But compared to others who are stuck in airports this Christmas Eve, I am blessed. I am safe, warm, and with my family. The car knocked me INTO THE INTERSECTION, so I seriously could have been hit from the left if cars had been moving. Luckily no one else had entered the intersection save moi. So compared to a lot of other people in the world, I’m incredibly lucky, whiplash and all

And no, I didn’t make it to the Christmas Eve service. I have planned to go tomorrow. In daylight. Hopefully it won’t rain.

I hope your travels are safe and that you are able to spend this holiday season with friends and family. Blessings to you all! And drive safe!

Christian Personal Finance is giving away stuff! This includes two iPods! So get on over there and check out all the goodies!

Good luck! And thanks to CPF!

I borrowed this list from FB’s page. There’s another reading list following it based on ZDF’s “Das große Lesen” (The Big Read, or The Great Read).

BOLD = Read
NOT bolded = Unread

1. The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, JK Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
7. Winnie the Pooh, AA Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
10. Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong, Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier
15. The Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations, Charles Dickens
18. Little Women, Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Louis de Bernieres
20. War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy
21. Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone, JK Rowling
23. Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, JK Rowling
24. Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban, JK Rowling
25. The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
26. Tess Of The D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch, George Eliot
28. A Prayer For Owen Meany, John Irving
29. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck
30. Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
31. The Story Of Tracy Beaker, Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years Of Solitude, Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars Of The Earth, Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield, Charles Dickens
35. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island, Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice, Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion, Jane Austen
39. Dune, Frank Herbert
40. Emma, Jane Austen
41. Anne Of Green Gables, LM Montgomery
42. Watership Down, Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count Of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm, George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
48. Far From The Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom, Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers, Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett
52. Of Mice And Men, John Steinbeck
53. The Stand, Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy, Vikram Seth
56. The BFG, Roald Dahl
57. Swallows And Amazons, Arthur Ransome
58. Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer
60. Crime And Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky
61. Noughts And Crosses, Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs Of A Geisha, Arthur Golden
63. A Tale Of Two Cities, Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds, Colleen McCollough
65. Mort, Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree, Enid Blyton
67. The Magus, John Fowles
68. Good Omens, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
69. Guards! Guards!, Terry Pratchett
70. Lord Of The Flies, William Golding
71. Perfume, Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists, Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch, Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda, Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History, Donna Tartt
77. The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses, James Joyce
79. Bleak House, Charles Dickens
80. Double Act, Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits, Roald Dahl
82. I Capture The Castle, Dodie Smith
83. Holes, Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast, Mervyn Peake
85. The God Of Small Things, Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel, Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm, Stella Gibbons
89. Magician, Raymond E Feist
90. On The Road, Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather, Mario Puzo
92. The Clan Of The Cave Bear, Jean M Auel
93. The Colour Of Magic, Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
95. Katherine, Anya Seton
96. Kane And Abel, Jeffrey Archer
97. Love In The Time Of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez
98. Girls In Love, Jacqueline Wilson
99. The Princess Diaries, Meg Cabot
100. Midnight’s Children, Salman Rushdie

I’m quite embarrassed. I’ve read fewer than 20 books from this list <sigh>. I’ve seen most of the movies based on these books LOL but oh well. I guess I’d better get moving.

Das Grosse Lesen

1. John Ronald Reuel Tolkien: Der Herr der Ringe (Lord of the Rings; read in English)
2. Die Bibel (The Bible. Read in English;  well, part of it
3. Ken Follett: Die Säulen der Erde (Pillars of the Earth; read in English— OUTSTANDING novel)
4. Patrick Süskind: Das Parfum
5. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: Der kleine Prinz (The Little Prince; en francais)
6. Thomas Mann: Buddenbrooks
7. Noah Gordon: Der Medicus (very good book)
8. Paulo Coelho: Der Alchimist
9. Joanne K. Rowling: Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisen
10. Donna W. Cross: Die Päpstin
11. Cornelia Funke: Tintenherz
12. Diana Gabaldon: Feuer und Stein (Outlander; read in English– my favorite series, ever)
13. Isabel Allende: Das Geisterhaus
14. Bernhard Schlink: Der Vorleser [Liebesfluchten]
15. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: Faust. Der Tragödie erster Teil
16. Carlos Ruiz Zafón: Der Schatten des Windes
17. Jane Austen: Stolz und Vorurteil (Pride and Prejudice; listened to audiobook)
18. Umberto Eco: Der Name der Rose
19. Dan Brown: Illuminati
20. Theodor Fontane: Effi Briest
21. Joanne K. Rowling: Harry Potter und der Orden des Phönix
22. Thomas Mann: Der Zauberberg
23. Margaret Mitchell: Vom Winde verweht
24. Hermann Hesse: Siddhartha (Read in English, in HS)
25. Harry Mulisch: Die Entdeckung des Himmels
26. Michael Ende: Die unendliche Geschichte
27. Ulla Hahn: Das verborgene Wort
28. Frank McCourt: Die Asche meiner Mutter
29. Hermann Hesse: Narziss und Goldmund
30. Marion Zimmer Bradley: Die Nebel von Avalon  (The Mists of Avalon; read in English; another great book)
31. Siegfried Lenz: Deutschstunde
32. Sándor Márai: Die Glut
33. Max Frisch: Homo faber
34. Sten Nadolny: Die Entdeckung der Langsamkeit
35. Milan Kundera: Die unerträgliche Leichtigkeit des Seins
36. Gabriel Garcia Márquez: Hundert Jahre Einsamkeit
37. John Irving: Owen Meany [Das Hotel New Hampshire]
38. Jostein Gaarder: Sofies Welt
39. Douglas Adams: Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis
40. Marlen Haushofer: Die Wand
41. John Irving: Gottes Werk und Teufels Beitrag
42. Gabriel Garcia Márquez:
Die Liebe in den Zeiten der Cholera [Hundert Jahre Einsamkeit]
43. Theodor Fontane: Der Stechlin [Effie Briest]
44. Hermann Hesse: Der Steppenwolf
45. Harper Lee: Wer die Nachtigal stört
46. Thomas Mann: Joseph und seine Brüder
47. Erwin Strittmatter: Der Laden
48. Günter Grass: Die Blechtrommel
49. Erich Maria Remarque: Im Westen nichts Neues
50. Frank Schätzing: Der Schwarm

(Or is that Veterans’ Day?)

I am still very remiss in the consistency with which I update my blog, but I’m getting there. Well, I’m working on it. With a full-time job, full-time grad school, and a number of other part-time jobs, it’s difficult to get to the blog and post. But that’s the point, isn’t it? Otherwise, shouldn’t I just delete it? (Rhetorical. Please don’t suggest I do so.)

I don’t really have a single focus for this blog. I will talk about many different things interchangeably, as they occur, or relative to our world/national climate. Or the weather. Bah. I do not want to be political here, but I did want to take this opportunity to thank those of the past and present who have fought for our country and especially those who gave their lives in service for our country.

As the daughter of parents who met in the military, I have the highest respect for those who serve.

Tapadh leibh.